Thoughts from the classroom

As time has passed, the idea of what makes a good teacher has shifted rather dramatically. When I was a kid, most people thought of a good teacher simply as one that passed on the information in a lecture, and it was your responsibility to stay awake and learn it. There is a small amount of truth to this. As teachers, we can present the information as much as we like, but if the student refuses to do it, there is only so much we can do. However, a good teacher takes responsibility for their part in the process, and there is much we can do to improve that part. We have many tools in our bag to do this, but the most important one of all is building relationships with our students.

I need to be careful here, so I’m going to define what “relationships” is not at first. This is not being your student’s friend and allowing them free reign. You are in charge of your classroom, and it should be an indisputable fact. You should develop a relationship of mutual respect with your students. This is the only way to reach many of them.

I used the phrase “mutual respect” here quite deliberately, because the idea of a teacher showing respect to their students is sure to rile up some people, especially some more old-fashioned teachers. We show outward respect to others just to be good human beings who are not trying to start fights sometimes. True respect is earned and not demanded. This is especially true in our students. Some will behave respectfully just because they don’t want to get in trouble, but you won’t get much success out of this. So as teachers, we start the game and model the behavior we want to receive. Respect the students first. I call my kids “sir” and “ma’am” from the start. It always takes them by surprise, but it also makes them stop and think. Listen carefully to what they have to say without making fun of them. Yes, sometimes this is hard, teenage problems were many years ago for most of us and we get a chuckle out of them. Teenagers need to feel safe with you to learn, and validating their emotions is the first step.

There is not a single student in existence that is not going to misbehave at some point. I’m using the term “misbehave” very loosely here, as I have learned in the last eleven years that misbehavior always comes with a background story. The sleeping kid may be babysitting their siblings at night while their parents work, or they may be working themselves. The loud kid distracting others may have either absent parents, or ones that can’t be bothered to pay attention to their child. I’ve dug through the records of children labeled as troublemakers to find horrendous stories. The point is, never assume you have “bad” kids. There is no such thing. You may have kids that give you a few grey hairs, but your best defense is to try to develop a relationship with that kid. I would estimate that 90% of behavioral issues are at least helped by this. This should also go without saying, but NEVER yell at your students. Be stern when needed and give them consequences when they have earned them, good or bad. Be consistent in your approach by rewarding good behavior and sanctioning bad, but never yell. Once you yell at them, your class is no longer a safe space for them, and they can only learn when they are safe. It’s hard sometimes, but never take anything a student says or does personally. Bad behavior is almost never directed at you.

The result of developing this mutual respect is that once the kids have realized they are safe with you, they will return that respect nine times out of ten. They want to please you, so they work for you and learn the information. They may learn the information on their own without any respect for you just because they want the good grades, but will generally only do the bare minimum unless they love the subject. By building the relationships with the kids, not only will you improve classroom behavior, but they kids will want to push themselves and challenge themselves, because they feel safe to do so. And that’s when the learning really starts!